For When Feelings are the WoRsT

I hate sadness, discontentedness, discomfort. I don’t want to live in a world with no resolution to my problems.

When I’m sad I want to control it and contain it.

I often try to bury the sorrow and ignore whatever is hurting me…but no matter what or how, the sorrow digs itself out and digs me my own grave.

Sometimes, though, I don’t bury it; I run. This means completely distracting myself so I don’t have the brain space to feel (sometimes I do this by going on literal runs lol). This one hurts just as much; every runner needs their rest.

My third and final way of dealing with sorrow is to obsess over it; to wallow until I can find a solution. I give in to the urge to analyze, dissect, and relive every moment causing my sorrow; I can’t resist it until I’ve come to a solution or conclusion because I am afraid of how long the sorrow will last and how badly it will scar.

I’ve found that God’s viewpoint on sorrow is a bit different than my own.

When I read about Jesus in Garden of Gethsemane, I see Him crying out to God with vulnerability and awareness of the depth of His own pain.

  1. ¬†He literally says that His soul is grieved to the point of death; He became distressed. Okay, wow, the creator of the universe is showing the deepest kind of sorrow and pain; agony even. He’s not ignoring it or letting it fester in His heart. He’s not running away from His fate or pretending that He could care less about the pain; He actually cares so much. He’s also not being aloof with God or with the disciples. Jesus clearly expresses the depth of His humanity by showing His attachment to His Father and his friends.
  2. He shares it with God, and knows that His Father cares. Jesus easily goes to His Father in His pain. He doesn’t doubt that God can hear Him or cares for Him. Often, I feel like my problems are so dumb that God could really care less. But I wish I trusted Him more with the little things, because when I do, the closeness to Him becomes so much more real. The more I tell Him what’s on my heart, the sweeter it is when He draws me near.
  3. He even asks God to take away the cup of crucifixion. When Jesus asks God this, He admits He wants an escape from the pain. I find myself praying a similar prayer often as of late. I don’t feel weak when I pray this; it not only acknowledges God’s ability to take away any kind of pain, but also highlights my neediness for God.
  4. He asks God for His will to be done even through His sorrow. Jesus knows that God’s ultimate plan will be fulfilled and that it could be a very painful process for Him. He’s still not denying His pain, but He does accept that God’s purposes are bigger than earthly ones. He also knows that God can bring beauty out of what seems like a worst nightmare. Truth be told, this kind of scares me! Of course, I want God to bring all the beauty out of my life, but I know that beauty is sometimes created from ugliness. Jesus’ life is the biggest example of this; God didn’t take the cup of crucifixion away, but it was only then that He was able to conquer death. He faced the emptiness of death to get (and give us) the fullness of life.

 

Devotional.

 

Devotionals are books I’ve always grown up with, but I’ve also learned that a lot of people don’t really know what they are or don’t really get the point of them. While reading the actual Bible is always the most important, reading devotionals has been a huge part of helping me understand God’s Word and God Himself.

The purpose of a devotional is to help you understand what God has written to you in the Bible. Generally, they include a passage of scripture for each day with a few short paragraphs about applying the scripture to your life. Sometimes they also include prayers, questions, or further scripture suggestions. These kinds of books can be really beneficial for possible Christians, new Christians, old Christians, doubting Christians, or very strong Christians. Personally, devotional books have helped me see parts of the Bible in different ways and have even helped me think more deeply when I am just studying the Bible on it’s own.

Today, I wanted to give you some devotional suggestions. Before I start, here’s kind of how I schedule my time with God: read a section of Scripture, write notes in my journal about it, read my devotional and also write notes about it, and then write down other thoughts, prayers, and thanksgiving (basically, I go through a lot of journals). Ideally, I would like to do this everyday, although there are definitely days when I forget… ūüė¶

The first devotional is Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. Many, many, many Christians know of this book because it is insanely life changing. Each month starts with a verse to kind of set the mood and theme for the month’s lessons (check out the pics). Each daily post has a paragraph written from God’s point of view based on the scriptures that are listed at the end of the section and Young’s personal prayers with God.

At first, it was kind of weird to read it from God’s point of view, but once you start reading it’s easy to see that everything is scripturally based and God’s presence is completely woven into every sentence. This book is definitely for someone who wants to pursue a more intense and intimate relationship with God. It can also been good for someone who is struggling with getting to know God or grasping His love.

Here’s the link to read some reviews and buy it on Amazon (you can also check out her website.) Seriously, recommend it. It has really helped me see that a relationship with God is not just legalistic, but about having a legitimate dialogue with Him.

The second devotional book is Grace For the Moment by Max Lucado. Here’s the front cover.

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For each day, this devotional has a verse and an application scripture to help explain the verse. This usually includes a story, practical application, or challenge.

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I love this book because it was my first devotional book ever, which I probably picked up in middle school. It’s simple, short, and the passages are not too heavy and intense. If you like something a little more straightforward, yet challenging, this is a great book! I also like how the scripture is written out for you, in contrast to Jesus Calling where the verses are just named at the bottom (although that does encourage you to go open the actual Bible ūüôā ) Here is the link to buy it on Amazon.

Lastly, I am going to talk about Emotionally Healthy Spirituality Day by Day by Peter Scazzero. I don’t have pictures of this because I bought the Amazon Kindle Cloud reader version (here’s the link), so I just read it all online. Guys, I haven’t even finished reading this once through, but I adore it already! It starts and ends with two minutes of silence (while I love the idea of this, I kind of struggle with silence, so I’m still working on that part). Next, it includes a scripture reading followed by the application/discussion portion. This often involves a story or an excerpt from another Christian book. It then concludes with a prayer and a challenging question (and the two minutes of silence). Honestly, this is such a great book to deepen the deepest of relationships with God. It’s freshly written and looks at scripture with a divine lens. I can’t even explain it well enough in words, because it’s just something you have to experience. The best way I can put it is that it has made me fall in love with God more; it’s also helped me release some things that held me back from being everything He meant me to be. I will potentially write more about this one once I read the whole book.

Also this, one is also split into sections and themes, if you’re into that kind of structure and organization (I know I am). Additionally, this book only goes over 40 days so it’s not a year-round devotional with a page for each day, BUT the posts are so good, I find myself rereading the same couple of pages for days and days. It can definitely be read multiple times through. For real, check this out.

Last thing to say: all of these devotionals have helped me out perfectly in different seasons of life and you truly cannot go wrong picking any of these up! I firmly believe each are scripturally based (always gotta make sure). Most importantly, though, it’s always important that the actual Bible is your #1 (who doesn’t love all those love-letters from God??)

 

 

 

 

 

The Positives

You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. ‚ÄĒ Genesis 50:20

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Anxiety doesn’t seem like something that would really help anyone gain anything. But anxiety deserves a little more credit–well, God deserves credit, actually. God has used even anxiety to bring some goodness to my life. In the spirit of positivity, here are some of the things I have gained from anxiety:

Anxiety has drained me, but now I know what strength I am capable of. 

The tiredness that comes with anxiety is often not the satisfactory exhaustion after a long run. It’s the kind of anxiety that makes your brain feel like undercooked ramen noodles; like stiff thoughts in the puddle of your brain. Pushing past this anxiety requires a fine tuned attention to God. It requires allowing His light to break past the darkness of human thinking. It has shown me that with God I can escape the lowest of lows. God has made anxious minds so full and deep that our sensitivity to everything, including Him, can be proclaimed even through our anxiety.

Anxiety has made me feel numb, but now I know what it means to be alive. 

Back to the ramen noodle analogy: when anxiety hit me the worst in 2016, I felt so out of touch with the world around me. I was barely able to contain myself in my own body. It felt like my spirit was wearing away while my body was just going through the motions. Fast forward a few months to when I worked at a camp that changed my life (I didn’t know it at the time, but it really did) and then when I went back to school for junior year, suddenly it was like I could see in color. I appreciate, now, so many of the every day moments. I’m so much more invested in small interactions with others and so much more conscious of my own thinking. I actually have room in my mind to be grateful and present. Although, I do still have days when I struggle with this, I am all the more thankful for the moments God helps me to live beyond the mundane.

Anxiety has frustrated and hurt loved ones who have had to watch me struggle, but it has allowed me to have deeper and more unique relationships.

I hate the way anxiety has made me argue with my mom or distance myself from friends or even God. I wish I could apologize for every time anxiety has gotten in the way. I know I truly don’t have an excuse for not always being the best friend or family member, but I do know that God has still allowed me to have great relationships despite my active mind. I’ve had to reevaluate how I look at myself and people. I have to actively remind myself that I’m not interacting with others to please them or be “fun” enough, but that I’m purposefully getting to share God’s love while actually getting to know people. Their perception of me or my “image” holds less and less importance when I look at others as God’s creation and not as a human idol that I’m trying to make happy. I don’t believe I would have felt the same way if I didn’t struggle with anxiety and insecurity the way that I do. I can think of four or five instances directly where anxiety has positively helped relationships. (I can also think of a few times where anxiety has hurt a relationship; I know with God’s help even those relationships can be repaired.)

Anxiety has also opened my heart to be more understanding of different kinds of people. I know how great it feels for someone to notice me or smile at me when I am feeling particularly low, and now I’m more inclined to be that person for someone else. I try to be much more aware of the people on the fringes or the ones that seem too nervous to join in. This has allowed me to meet and understand people that I would have never expected to be friends with. It consistently teaches me how God has created each person with something interesting and special inside their hearts, no matter how anxious or different they may seem.

Anxiety keeps me awake at night, but now I appreciate the sweetness of rest. 

Every few months I go through a few weeks of treacherous sleep. I either don’t sleep at all or spend most of the night in and out of restless sleep. I know a lot of people struggle with this and that it contributes to that feeling of brain noodles. One of the ways I deal with this is to just accept that I am missing out on human rest, but that God will give me spiritual energy to get through the day. I literally don’t have to rely on myself at all and trust that God will fill me up and pull me through. Usually, when I fully grasp that sleep is not my source of energy, I end up sleeping way better because I’m not overthinking it! And on the nights that I sleep well, I appreciate it so much more. I am grateful for what I have instead of taking it for granted.

Fun fact: I’ve taken a few final exams and major tests on 2-3 hours of sleep because of anxiety…and those are some of the tests I have gotten my best scores on. I love this, because it shows me that God was helping me take the test despite my tired mind. Anxiety may have won the battle of those nights, but that God was fighting my bigger wars for me.

Anxiety works the most intensely in me by making me feel worthless, but I have found something outside of myself to place my worth in. 

This is the #1 way that anxiety wears me down. There are so many different ways it makes me feel worthless or inadequate. When I would start to feel this way in the past, I started to strive for things that would make me feel like I had worth. Good grades, looks, likes on Instagram, being perceived as “nice and sweet,” success in extracurriculars. Unfortunately, I also have major performance anxiety. So whenever I’m anxious I do about 234082034 times worse on tests, social interactions, performances, you name it. So it became a vicious cycle of anxiety encouraging me to find worth, but then destroying me on my journey to achieve. I had to come to the point (and often still have to remind myself) that searching for my worth is equal to spending my whole life living for myself.

I still get general stress before tests and public speaking, but it does not overwhelm my whole entire being for extended periods of time anymore. I realized that living for myself is exhausting and enables anxiety to fester in my heart. Moreover, placing my worth in who God says I am is much more fulfilling.

Now when I spend time studying or playing piano or working out it’s not a stressful form of self hatred, but a way to worship God. God is teaching me that it is not about me at all, it’s completely about Him. This doesn’t make me feel unimportant; it actually makes me feel super important because I’m living to serve someone who is filled with ridiculous amounts of love and power. This is the most freeing thing in the entire world.

Anxiety fills my thoughts with fear, but now I know what it is to be courageous. 

Anxiety is scary. Shortness of breath, claustrophobia, chest pain; it can all be very terrifying.

I remember a few months ago I was so frustrated at myself for having so much driving anxiety. I felt stupid and childish because I would get nightmares and panic attacks about driving and constant chest pain when making turns or being at busy stoplights. I thought I was the most ridiculous person in the world.

Now, I don’t look at myself as weak and fearful. I am proud of myself because despite the extremely real physical symptoms of anxiety, I still continued to drive. I now drive all the time (not on the highways yet hehe….), but so, so much more. It doesn’t come with the chest pain and nightmares as often and if it does, I am able to contain it. However, I don’t look back at sophomore Sarah with disgust or frustration; instead I am astounded and overjoyed that I have made so much progress.

When I do start to panic on a drive, which does happen from time to time (thank you, construction on Hillcrest), I tell myself to ride the wave of anxiety and just accept that an attack could come. So I basically live through the physical symptoms while continuing to be a safe driver. It maybe sounds ridiculous that construction makes me nervous, but I think it’s pretty awesome that I can be courageous enough to withstand driving anxiety and continue to improve.

Anxiety has caused me to sin, but I have been able to see the fullness of Grace.

Sometimes when I’m anxious, I want to fill my heart up with things that are not good for me. Self indulgence, self punishment, distraction…you know the deal. Similar to what I said earlier about relationships, God has mended my heart even if I have been the one to hurt it.

Unfortunately, sin also hurts God. Forgiveness can be hard to ask for, but it is also feels like the best kind of deliverance. God always leaves me in awe when He so easily forgives and welcomes me. I’m not saying there’s never any punishment, but there definitely is not a lack of His love that I am so glad I have experienced.


Congrats to you, if you’ve read this entire thing! I feel as though I should also point out that I’m not trying to downplay anxiety. I don’t sit through anxiety attacks or anxious days with a smile on my face and a peppy attitude; usually I have to call a friend or my mom and often times I just want to sit and cry. Nor do I always conquer anxiety each moment; there are still times I forget to cry out to God or times when I do and I don’t feel Him near immediately. But it is totally possible to live with an anxious mind and still see all the good in yourself and the battle in your mind. Anxiety stinks, but it doesn’t mean that life does.

Even if your struggle is not anxiety, I know, without a doubt, that God will show you the positives.

 

Desire

Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart. РPsalm 37:4 


Sometimes I ask God for stuff when I know He’s already said it’s not His will. I hold tightly to things that God clearly wants me to let go of; this can include objects, people, actions, decisions, or whatever else I believe is best. These kinds of prayers often stem from selfishness, self pity, anger, etc.

For a few weeks I struggled with one of these things; I prayed to God for certain things to happen even though¬†I knew it was not a productive prayer. I knew this because it didn’t stem from a place of wanting God’s will to be done; I just wanted my own satisfaction that things were right and “fair” in my own little world. Even though I was aware of this, I felt like I couldn’t let it go.

After sharing this with my friend, she encouraged me to ask God to change the desires of my heart. 

I don’t know if that hits you like it hit me. But like actually asking God to change what we desire? Like that’s pretty amazing. It BLEW my mind. I knew it in the back of my head, but hadn’t really heard it until then. So many of my prayers are focused on God fulfilling what I want. I create my desires and He fulfills them…it feels gross to type that out–to admit that I often view God as a genie who is going to grant my every wish.

After asking God to actually shift what I desired, so many great changes resulted (not that I’ve got a perfect relationship with God at all).

  1. Letting go of that desire actually became so much simpler. I still do struggle with at times (sometimes a lot), when I’m not asking God to consistently help me, but it feels more and more possible each day to let it go. I’m not trying to change my heart all by myself, God is doing it with me (He’s doing most of the work tbh). I know I’m not in the struggle¬†alone.
  2. It has improved my prayer life. Instead of focusing on what I want, I can focus more on what God wants to do in me. So cheesy, but actually so true.
  3. I hold less tightly to my life plans. Maybe that sounds kind of awful, but in reality, it’s actually really freeing. In perfect Sarah-land, I’m supposed to have straight A’s, lose 1.5 pounds each week, marry a soccer player at 27, be preparing for optometry school somewhere on the East coast in a big city, have a perfect social and academic calendar, etc., etc. Almost none of those things are happening according to the formula I had in my head, but God is giving me the capability to look outside of my plan. I’m actually learning to take life day by day. If you know me personally, you know that’s a big leap for me. I still do hold tightly to my plans, but they seem less and less important the more I surrender to God.
  4. God didn’t automatically give me new desires. He didn’t give me a list that said I’m going to have straight B’s, lose 1 pound per week, marry a baseball player at 25 (also I hate baseball), live in California, and all that. Instead my desire is just desiring what God wants. To be close to Him, to know Him, and live in His presence.

Finally, this is kind of side note, but for the the majority of my life I actually thought that Psalm 37:4 meant that if you were close to God, He would give you what you want. While I do believe that God does bless His followers and often fulfills our requests, that old mindset was pretty toxic. I assumed that if God wasn’t blessing me it automatically meant that I wasn’t “close enough” to Him. I’m not denouncing that God may¬†punish us when we step out of will, but setbacks don’t always mean that your relationship with God isn’t good enough. When I did have that mindset, I convinced myself to try and figure out God and somehow become worthy¬†enough so I could get what I wanted. I sincerely meant well, but it ultimately led me to feel like I needed to jump through the right hoops in order to make God who I wanted Him to be; this just harbored resentment in my heart against Him¬†that took a long time to untangle. Honestly, I could write a whole separate blog on this topic, but wanted to include it here.

Psalm 37:4 doesn’t necessarily mean that earthly¬†success reflects spiritual success.

Now I read this verse as saying that a vibrant relationship with God completely changes your heart–instead of just¬†desiring God’s blessings, we desire God.

When grilled cheese is your soul mate

Valentines Day was approx 1 month ago, but I’m still kinda thinking about it (not because I had a romantic date lol). This year has been filled with all kinds of heartbreaks and letdowns (but mostly joy-so don’t take that as a complaint); some of my people also know that I went through the divorce of my parents a few months ago. All this love from V-day (should we call it D-day tho??) and the heartbreak of past hurts left me feeling confused and empty.

The whole week before¬†Valentines, I felt like I was preparing for war. Trying to prep myself to feel the knot of heartbreak in my stomach and forcing myself¬†to remain strong. ¬†My muscles were clenched and my heart felt tight all week–bracing myself¬†for the pictures and captions and anniversaries and engagements–celebrating a kind of romantic love that I haven’t had portrayed for me in a Godly way at home and haven’t experienced between me and someone else.

I made an effort to convince myself that I could grit my teeth and bear this torture by numbing my mind and pushing through.

There are more fish in the sea. 

You just haven’t met the one yet.¬†

You’ll get over him.¬†

Just because you come from a broken home doesn’t mean your relationships and marriage will also be broken.¬†

The heartbreak of divorce isn’t so bad…everyone’s parents are divorced.¬†

Get over the pain. 

It is your fault.

It’s not your fault.¬†

Don’t feel. Don’t think. Don’t let it get to you.¬†

I want to say that in response to these thoughts, God sent down an angel from heaven to hold me and catch all my tears; I want to say that He pointed me to the exact verses I needed as soon as the clock struck 12am on February 14th. I want to say it’s all just been a dream and I woke up and my home and my heart was never broken and some guy fell out of the sky ready to sweep me off my feet.

None of those things happened. But God did speak to me in the quietness of passing conversations with friends, through gentle encouragement at church services, and the stillness of talking to Him as I spent time on campus.

This Valentines Day God taught me to:

  1. Praise God for whatever season you are in. Crushing, flirting, dating, relationship-ing, breaking up, getting over, singleness. Praise Him.
  2. You are not your parents mistakes. You are not hopeless and incapable of love because of what you have been through. You are not the statistic that says kids of divorced parents are more likely to fall into the pain of divorce. Screw that stat and just math in general ūüėČ God is sovereign over the path of your life.
  3. This too shall pass. Heartbreak ain’t 5ever.
  4. Having a Godly relationship or finding the “one” isn’t the ultimate goal in¬†life. It doesn’t mean you’ve reached the peak of life or that God is pleased with you if you find that special someone. Depending on someone to make you feel loved will not make you whole.
  5. Love yourself; treat yourself (life lessons from parks and rec lol)
  6. There is a lot of love in the world. Maybe it won’t show up as a roses from a boy or as a parent’s 22nd anniversary, but it exists all over. In the smile of a child, the encouragement from a teacher, the treatment of a doctor, when a broken soul chooses joy, and especially when the Savior of the world sacrifices His whole life for the companionship and safety of his people.

If V-day week was also a bummer for you, hit me up so we can read the Bible and eat dark chocolate together.

When You Screw Up

“Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but wordly sorrow brings death.” – 2 Corinthians 7:10

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Ask any of my friends and they’ll tell you that my life is really just a series of mishaps and awkward moments. Most of the time these are moments I can laugh about with my friends and my mom–just my own personal comedy show ūüôā

As fun and silly as my embarrassing moments can be, sometimes I really just screw up. I mess up. I sin. Anxiety isn’t even the cause–I simply just make a wrong choice, go against the Bible, or act out of fear, anger, and hurt.

Two years ago, mistakes with roots like these would have turned my world and my self esteem upside down. I used to feel like I deserved the punishment of self-hatred because making mistakes was unacceptable.

While mistakes often still convince me to dwell on them, my outlook has shifted significantly and self-hatred does not control me. Honesty, I did nothing to improve my own self perception; only God showed me (over much time and many tears) how I should deal with mistakes.

First of all, of course, we should all avoid mistakes. Often mistakes¬†can lead to strife, anger, and hurt. And God specifically points out that that’s not what we should be partaking in.

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.- Colossians 3:12 

This verse could probably be unpacked in a whole separate blog, but keep in mind that God wants us to avoid sin and mistakes as much as we can.

If a mistake does occur however, beating yourself up will probably change nothing. If you hurt someone else, punishing yourself is not equal to an apology (just go apologize, you know?). If you got angry or upset or didn’t show Christ’s love, wallowing in self loathing will not prepare you to love someone better next time. In fact, this shame will probably only hamper your relationship with God. !!! (That’s so not necessary, considering you’re a BELOVED of the King of the Universe).

Paul’s got some wise words for us:

“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,¬†I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 3:12-14″

In this passage, Paul is talking about how he wants to be like Jesus. He starts off saying that he has NOT already obtained this goal (he’s not perfect on this Earth like Jesus was), but he still strains towards what is ahead; he chases his goal, his win, his prize, because that is what God desires for him. How does he do it? By forgetting what is behind. Paul isn’t feeling hopeless at his failures. He is recognizing that he must leave behind prior sin and move forward in Christ’s will for him.

If you have lived in sin or are currently sinning, destroying yourself emotionally will not help you get anywhere.You are too important in God’s plan (I mean, He died for you) to assume your sin is too great to be used by Him. Forget the past and press on.¬†

Secondly, in Psalm 75, God is basically saying that He is the ultimate judge.

It is God who judges:
    He brings one down, he exalts another. РPsalm 75:7

If you read the whole Psalm, you’ll see that God is condemning boasting about oneself because He¬†decides who is worthy of uplifting and honoring. In the same way, self loathing does not honor God. Loathing¬†yourself suggests that you have personally taken on the role as judge and decider of character, which is clearly God’s job. A more useful approach would be to pray for God to show you your sin and ask for help in removing it and reshaping your heart. And then pressing¬†on to better yourself.

I can vouch that this approach creates more humility and intimacy with God than standing ashamed in the shadows of the past. You are too important to Jesus to spend time hating one of His most important creations: you!

Wine and Milk

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“Come, all you who are thirsty,
    come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
    come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
    without money and without cost.

Isaiah 55:1

 

Agh this verse has got me so excited.

The Lord is telling us that LITERALLY ANYONE who is thirsty for truth; who wants Him, can come to him. FREE OF CHARGE.

Like what even. That should blow your mind.

I have sat on the bed in my room so many times and just questioned my worthiness. I have felt like I am WAY too hard to love-too messed up and too afraid.

But God kindly responds through His Word that even without ANY religious¬†“currency”, without any ritual or good deed, that He offers us fulfillment just because we seek it and ask for it.

I guess this blows my mind because it shows how big God is. He isn’t limited by the limitations we put on ourselves or our love. He doesn’t need us to be rich in theology or have a PhD in Greek and Hebrew Liturgical Text (not sure if that’s even a real degree, but you know what I mean). While pursuing spiritual awareness and knowledge are things He does want us to engage in¬†as we have a relationship with Him, He doesn’t base His love off of a price or hard work.

Also He’s offering both wine AND milk. While that doesn’t mean that God is going to start pouring down milk and wine from holy bottles in the sky, I think it does represent that God is also willing to give us an abundance. His goodness is so big that He offers way past the bare minimum.

In fact, our “bare minimum” is enough for Him to give us His finest¬†gifts–his fullness, abundance, and overflowing grace. Even my too-hard-to-love self can rest assured in this hope.